by Teri Arvesú González
TL;DR: ¿El Que Dirán?—“What will they say?”—is the cultural script that quietly fuels imposter syndrome and self-doubt for many Latinas. It keeps us playing small, silencing our voices, and questioning our worth. But by naming the script, building psychological safety, and rewiring through action, we can transform fear into fuel. Change isn’t betrayal—it’s evidence of growth and leadership.
The Quiet Voice That Holds Us Back
It often starts early.
We show up with confidence—only to feel like we’re “too much.” We win—then worry we’ve made others uncomfortable. That quiet voice whispering What will they say? isn’t just self-doubt. It’s a survival mechanism, dressed up as humility, etched into us by culture and community.
In Latino households, you hear it everywhere:
Respeta la autoridad.
No te creas mucho.
Primero la familia.
And always, the warning: No estés en boca de nadie. Don’t give people something to talk about.
So we avoid it like the plague. Sometimes not just the bad stuff—the good stuff too. Which makes being in the spotlight, for some of us, deeply uncomfortable.
I want to be clear: respect, humility, and family are values I hold firmly and refuse to discard. But part of the work we do here in The TAG Collab is laying those scripts on the table and asking: Are they helping us, or are they holding us back?
This isn’t an indictment of our parents or culture. On the contrary, I can celebrate the extraordinary job my mom did while also acknowledging that some lessons need re-examining through the lens of a 47-year-old leader, not a 7-year-old child.
The Mindset Trap
Psychology gives us language here. Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset vs. fixed mindset shows us how we interpret failure shapes everything.
A fixed mindset says: “If I fail, it means I’m not good enough.”
A growth mindset says: “If I fail, I just learned something.”
But El Que Dirán nudges us toward that fixed mindset. It makes us afraid to be wrong in public. Afraid to give anyone the satisfaction of saying, I knew she couldn’t do it.
I’ll be honest: there were times I stayed quiet in meetings even when I had the answer. Times I held back pitching bold ideas because I worried: What if I’m wrong? Will this expose me as a fraud?
That’s imposter syndrome at work—not just for women, but for minorities too. And here’s the irony: by playing it safe, we commit the costliest mistake of all—not stepping fully into our power.
How We Break the Cycle
So how do we dismantle El Que Dirán? Here are three ways:
1. Name It to Tame It
The moment we label that anxious whisper—This is El Que Dirán, not fact—it becomes conquerable. Words give us power. Naming the fear makes it smaller.
2. Build Psychological Safety
As leaders, parents, and community builders, it’s our responsibility to create spaces where mistakes and risks aren’t punished but welcomed. Safety breeds courage. My own board of directors—my trusted cabinet of advisors—has given me the safety net to test ideas before exposing them widely. We need to create the same conditions for our teams, our families, and ourselves.
3. Rewire Through Action
The brain learns by doing. Every time you raise your hand, share the idea, or correct the assumption, you’re not just speaking up—you’re rewiring your brain. Science calls it neuroplasticity. I call it healing.
Use Resistance as a Signal
The next time you hear that voice—What will they say?—remember this: it might mean you’re doing something bold, something necessary. That resistance isn’t a red flag. It’s your growth edge.
Growth doesn’t happen in silence. It doesn’t happen in comfort. And it definitely doesn’t happen when we shrink to avoid being en la boca de nadie.
So if someone says you’ve changed, I hope you smile and say, Thank you. Because change is not betrayal—it’s evidence of growth.
This is the work of leadership. This is the work of healing. And this is the work of becoming.
If this message resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs a reminder of their power. And as always—stay bold, stay rooted, and stay connected to us here at The TAG Collab.
About the Author
Teri Arvesu Gonzalez is the founder of The TAG Collab, a consultancy that helps mission-driven companies align purpose, brand, and strategy from the inside out.
With a Master’s in Management and Leadership and more than 25 years of experience leading newsrooms, launching initiatives, and driving transformation across Miami, Chicago, and national corporate teams, she brings deep expertise in storytelling, culture-building, and operational alignment.
Also find me on:
Podcast: on Apple Podcasts and Spotify The TAG Collab
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_tag_collab/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61576206521962
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/teriarvesu/
