Audacity Looks Good on You—Again
I was seven or eight years old, sitting on the floor of our living room watching the news with my parents. The broadcaster mentioned something about it being President Reagan’s final term. I remember pausing, confused. Why his last term? I asked. My parents explained the concept of term limits, and that was that—or so they thought.
I grabbed a yellow legal pad and started writing a letter to the President of the United States. I respectfully disagreed, I told him. I believed we needed to change the rule so he could run again.
Weeks later, a letter came from the White House. Along with it, a pamphlet—probably the kind they send to well-meaning children. But I was thrilled. My parents never stopped me. They didn’t laugh or tell me it was pointless. Somehow, they got that letter mailed, and I still count that as one of the best parenting moves of my childhood.
Because that moment was pure audacity.
Not the kind rooted in bravado or attention-seeking. The kind that flows from curiosity, confidence, and the innate belief that our voices matter—even when we’re small.
But here’s what I’ve noticed since: Somewhere along the way, many of us start to lose that fire. The older we get, the more we hesitate. We overthink. We ask for permission. We wait to be chosen instead of choosing ourselves. And we call it maturity, but often it’s something else.
The Science of Playing Small
Research in developmental psychology and behavioral neuroscience gives us some clues. Young girls often show equal, if not more, ambition and self-confidence than boys at early ages. But by middle school, studies show that self-esteem in girls begins to drop significantly. Why?
A few key factors:
Socialization pressures: Girls are praised for being “nice,” “helpful,” and “good”—traits that often require suppressing disagreement, assertiveness, or risk-taking.
Fear of judgment: As we become more self-aware, we also become more self-critical. The adolescent brain becomes acutely attuned to peer perception, especially for girls.
Cultural expectations: For many of us—especially in immigrant, bicultural, or conservative households—survival has historically meant compliance. Stability meant not rocking the boat.
Add to that the workplace biases, pay gaps, and lack of representation in leadership, and it makes sense that many women start to play it safe. We internalize the message that audacity comes with consequences—so we hedge, minimize, or wait until we’re 110% sure. And by then, the moment’s passed.
Reclaiming Audacity as an Adult
But here’s the truth: The voice in you that wrote the letter, asked the question, built the business, took the risk—that voice didn’t disappear. She just got buried under expectations.
Reclaiming her isn’t about recklessness. It’s about remembering.
Remembering that you used to speak up without worrying if it made someone uncomfortable. That you once believed in your own ideas without needing five credentials to back them up. That you were once brave enough to question the system—before you were trained to work around it.
Audacity is a muscle. And like any muscle, it atrophies if you don’t use it. But it can always be rebuilt.
Start with this:
What would your 8-year-old self write a letter about today?
What are you not saying that you know needs to be said?
Where are you asking for permission when you already have the authority?
Then move. Say the thing. Share the idea. Raise your hand. Pitch it. Launch it. Be misunderstood for a minute if that’s the cost of being clear.
The kid with the yellow pad didn’t overthink it.
And maybe she had it right.
Bonus picture: Look at those cheeks
About the Author
Teri Arvesu Gonzalez is the founder of The TAG Collab, a consultancy that helps mission-driven companies align purpose, brand, and strategy from the inside out.
With a Master’s in Management and Leadership and more than 25 years of experience leading newsrooms, launching initiatives, and driving transformation across Miami, Chicago, and national corporate teams, she brings deep expertise in storytelling, culture-building, and operational alignment.
Also find me on:
Podcast: on Apple Podcasts and Spotify The TAG Collab
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_tag_collab/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61576206521962
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/teriarvesu/
Bonus questions:
What would your 8-year-old self write a letter about today?
What are you not saying that you know needs to be said?
Where are you asking for permission when you already have the authority?
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